Girls, maybe the odd guy might be reading but let’s speak about the dreaded displeasure of the monthly P…..
(Men if you read this it may give you a good insight or totally upset you)
Why? Why us? I should consider shares in tampax and always!
Blokes think oh it can’t be that bad?! Hold fire let me tell you it can be ‘that bad’ could you imagine shedding something internally and it exiting your body and that be a great feeling….no so don’t be such silly c**ts. This is where men let themselves down….
Speaking from my own experience (I’ll keep this moderately tame as most of you reading this know me and will have to look at me in the eyes again at some point) I’ve never been one of the lucky ones that go on any contraception and it stops the monthly hinderance…I’ve tried it all minus the depo injection to no prevail, instead they are that bad I have been hospitalised and from time to time take tranexanic acid to control it, on top of no regularity just an awful surprise when it fancies ruining my week, in my case not just a week some have hung around for as long as a month. GO ME! 🙄
Can you imagine the horror to feel the dreaded warm gush (absolutely up there with one of the few words that make me feel uncomfortable) come over you out of the blue, while sat on your electric blue works chair…. imagine having to message your boss who at the time sat behind you and just saying “I need to go home” and the explaining the horror why “I’ve just came on my period on the chair through my trousers” luckily she wasn’t mortified and very understanding and off I ran. Men who are still reading are probably like OMG you awful minger, but this is one of many awfully embarrassing stories. I’ve been lucky that it’s always been in the company of like minded people who laugh with me 😂
Imagine showing your brand new car to someone and the person hops in the passenger seat for a drive and then that happens, my fuck!!- I’m sorry 😂 I did however clean it for them haha – these disaster stories are my life and MEN have the audacity to ask why women are so upset or have two personalities when this all happens?! Sorry mate while my womb leaves my body I’ll just sing a really fucking happy song and have a dance yeah?
My moods are yo-yo at best, but at this particular time they are a yo-no, I could throttle someone for just breathing. Look at me “what you looking at”. Cut me up on the round about I will follow you for the rest of your journey continuously beeping while doing every hand gesture known to man, sometimes I might wind down my window for some extra spice! While your lucky that my seatbelt is the only thing holding me in my car while squashing my sensitively sore period tits/fried eggs.
Period tits – you heard it here first.
Do I want to be this person, no! Do I cry after, yes! Do I cry for lots of other pointless reasons, of course, ahh look at that beautiful Christmas tree *insert emotional breakdown*. Unfortunately this is beyond my control and the Doctors so they tell me. It’s my hormones making me the crazy bitch🤣
Remember girls this is totally acceptable to behave like it, we didn’t chose the vag life, the vag life chose us! X