How many have you have been so heartbroken you have ate until you felt physically sick, cried until you can’t breathe while catching a glimpse of yourself in last night’s pyjamas with not a smidgen of make-up, in the mirror thinking OMG aren’t I so UGLY! While making the most horrific of noises to yourself (I think this is mainly girls, but wouldn’t it be lovely to think men can cry hysterically over us too).
This has been me and I’m sure it has been some of you….
But this blog will be all the good advice and the stiff kick up your arse you need when trying to ‘get over someone’.
I remember feeling like you will never get over it, like your heart is literally broke in that many pieces it would fall out of your arse if you farted hard enough! But you definitely get over it and find your next willing victim or sometimes not so willing then you repeat this process again VERY quickly.
First of all you have to cut the mofo’ off – As much as humans we are suckers for punishment, do NOT text do NOT call under no circumstances do this, you will be taking 10 steps forward to take what seems 100 back. It’s unfortunate when someone doesn’t ‘choose’ you that they tend to be the first person who extends the olive branch of conversation, the truth is they still don’t ‘choose’ you. Brutal facts would point too they are just bored, feel guilty for pie’ing you, or want to do the rude with you and the good old favourite ‘be friends’. Say NO, no vag or penis and what its connected too is worth this amount of upset, mythical private parts and humans do not exist!
Granted this process doesn’t always happen and then when you don’t hear from them it feels just as bad, then you do the messaging – Catch 22.
Secondly NEVER I repeat NEVER think you can just meet up with them do ‘normal’ shit, even worse sleep with them and have no feelings be involved. I know occasionally needs must when you’re a human which makes the appeal very tempting, but don’t, that oxytocin being released will not do you any good, keep that in and your knickers firmly on!
Thirdly you have to address what went wrong and ‘mourn’ if you don’t do this I don’t truly believe you will ever get over it, you have to accept the reasons why it didn’t work out or why it never would of, cry and miss that person. However there should be a limit to how much time you invest into doing this though…. It won’t do you no good watching trash TV and eating shite for weeks – and all of the other cliché break up essentials. Remember next time you see the little fuck whit you want to be FAB not FLAB…this leads up nicely to part four.
Once your done moping about you need to become a better you! Start doing the things you maybe put on hold while you was wasting time with that person. Transform yourself. Get a hobby, go get yourself abs (I’ve been telling myself I will get them for the past 6 years, it’s not happened yet) buy that new car or whatever else it is you want. Good can follow bad (trust me! Imagine how much better I felt getting a payrise and a promotion shortly after it definitely took more than the edge off) take a holiday, do things that make YOU happy no one else, all while doing these things having a good clique of friends will definitely help!
Then you have to move on…. Fake it for a while until it becomes genuine – this may seem harsh but at some point you have to get over it and shape your ideas up! Dating after is pretty brutal you will initially compare people to that person and think nothing will beat that person, but going through the motions will get you used to the idea of something new, something exciting! Something better than what you had. Granted I can’t give the best advice on where to find these sorts of people seeing as I have been strongly single for sometime but whether its drunk at your local or on the internet….people actually get married off of Tinder/POF so let’s keep the dream alive that not those on internet ‘dating’ are catfishing you or just overly keen to show you the sausage or the clam (ladies who do this c’mon you are letting us down stop!) Imagine when you hit that point of thinking they was a fucking mong and its ‘there loss’ that’s when the real PARTAY starts.
As Beyonce would say….
There will always be someone that wants YOU, you are better than wasting your time on someone who doesn’t truly deserve it. Your time is precious…
Remember boys and girls are replaceable there is enough of us in the fucking world.
Act classy think sassy !xx